Home for Thanksgiving

this song was pretty boring when I first started it. Then it became epic with the addition of one story element (her dad) and it took on a life of its own. I'm very proud of it.

Abbey has yet to break into any social groups in college – she mostly keeps to herself, out of fear for what drugs, boys and alcohol might bring upon her potential. She misses home and wants to transfer to a school closer to her mother. She tries to bring this up during Thanksgiving dinner but no one listens to her. Abbey also discusses her father’s absence at Thanksgiving and in her life.

Home For Thanksgiving

ABBEY:
I’m home for Thanksgiving
And I’m thankful for that
Windchimes in the window
Being pawed by our cat
The bedroom, my toys I’ve kept since birth
Distance forces you to realize a true home’s worth

I sit and I stare
At my baby photos on the wall
So young and naive
I haven’t changed at all
I miss my home’s warmth and familiarity
Comfort has become something of a rarity

But trust me--
Thanksgiving isn’t for a beginner!
I sit down with my family for dinner
My aunt says – I thought you’d get thinner
Uncle Todd asks if I’m getting taller
Like a toddler he hands me a dollar
Because, I quote, “You’re an excellent scholar”
My cousins pry if I’ve got a guy
Gramma wonders why I’m so shy
I feel I’m about to cry
Or develop a syndrome
I want to hide
They never let me be
The maternal side
Of my extended family
But even so
Inside I know
I’m back home
Truly home

The table is full, the cider poured
I clasp my hands and say grace
As my cousins kick me, already bored
I strain to remember his face
I always notice the empty chair
At the end of the table
Daddy would be sitting there
If he were able

Daddy drank
Every night mother would find
Daddy’s breath stank
He said he needed to unwind
From a long day at work
Mother was always attracted to danger
But he stopped being kind
He changed into a jerk
He became a complete stranger
Then she changed her mind
Drinking wasn’t a quirk
He used it to exchange her

Gramma passes me a yam
I wonder if Daddy knows who I am

Daddy didn’t get an education
Daddy gambled his life at the racetrack
Daddy lived life like one long vacation
And he never came back
Daddy forgot he had a child and wife
But don’t we all sometimes need a break from life?
That shouldn’t make you a sinner
But that’s why he’s not here at Thanksgiving dinner

I mumble for the sweet potato
Nobody hears me – it’s the status quo
So – where did he go?

Mom’s family didn’t like him, he’s gone and they’re glad
But what if I’m like him? He was my dad
For a little bit
The only one that I got
But mom got hit
And then he split
I barely knew him
But I have to admit
Unfit or not
I’m sad that he quit
He’s missed a lot

I tell my mother
I passed my chemistry test
She passes me a turkey breast
There’s no room for surprise
When you’re always awarded first prize
Perfect to a fault
She passes me the salt

Mother
Thank you for the loan
I couldn’t do it on my own
And thank you for all that you’ve done while I’ve grown

Mother
Don’t you miss our girl’s days out?
Don’t you miss our heart to hearts?
College is this impersonal machine
And I don’t have the parts

It’s not that I don’t love it
Everyone’s quite nice
I just feel I’m above it
I’ve been lonely once or twice

It’s so far away
So, what do you say
I transfer somewhere near?
I could get a PHD just as easily
I’d only lose a year

I think she thinks I’m bluffing
She passes me the stuffing

Abbey, don’t be dumb
You chose to be farther away
Don’t act like a bum
Just like your father did each day
We don’t give up
We stick with what’s essential
You have to work to live up
To your full potential
Only failure’s shed tears
Do what I said
It’s only four years
Not counting pre-med

I look down at my plate
Unable to communicate
I don’t notice the food I’m chewing
I keep wondering what Daddy is doing

Is he warm where he is?
Does he know that I’m his?
Or has he forgotten my face, too?
Does he have a new family
One that he likes more?
One that let him be who he is
I hope that he’s happy, wherever he is
Family shouldn’t be a chore

I don’t know how to grieve
I wonder – why did he leave?
Could it be mother?
Did she bring him joy in bed?
Or was a girl too much a bother?
Did he want a boy instead?
Daddy didn’t give me a sister or brother
Daddy didn’t stick around long enough for another
For most of my life it’s just been me and mother

My one memory of him is his heavy arm
Holding a cold beer
I don’t remember him doing any harm
I wish daddy were still here
Daddy couldn’t’ve been that bad
Bad times would still be worth it
To have a dad

But Mother’s not as forgiving
If he only got to know me
He’d tell me to stay
If he hadn’t gone away…
I wish I knew where…if… he was living.

Oh well. Happy Thanksgiving.