Hollywood Is A Great Place To Live... If You're A Grapefruit

Hollywood Is a Great Place to Live… If You're a Grapefruit

Dear boy, you haven't seen the world till you've seen mine
We'll whisky a-go-go where the rum and cokes flow like gallo wine
We'll hablo espanol like we know what we're saying
There's no better place on Earth made for playing

Like Los Angeles
La la la la la la la la Los Angeles

It's always sunny in LA
The riot flames are bright
At Sunset that's when fun begins
The sky is pink at night

Save me from the place of beauty
Traffic jammed with freeways
Gawk at all the pretty cars
We'll walk into the pretty bars
And stalk all of the pretty stars
Talk about a perfect LA day
It could be like this always

In Los Angeles
La la la la la la la la Los Angeles
La la la la la la la la Los Angeles

Fly across the ocean
And land into a motion picture
Leave your simple life behind
There's nothing here that you can't find
It'll be just like a movie
That's my guaranteed solution
It's you and me
and the constant air pollution

I know what you're going to say
It's too far away
From reality
But it's my backyard
It's not that hard
To love LA
Won't you stay
With me

Quit your day job and live with me
In Los Angeles
La la la la la la la Los Angeles
Come meet all my actor friends
La la la la la la la Los Angeles
Where dreams are possibilities
And dreaming never ends

In five hundred years we'll all be drowned
But it's okay
If you're here with me now
In my town

I'm stuck here in Los Angeles
La la la la la la la la Los Angeles
No luck here in Los Angeles
La la la la la la la la Los Angeles
Till I get rich and move far away
Tomorrow's another sunny day
In LA

La la la la la la la la Los Angeles
La la la la la la la love Los Angeles

You'd Like This Song, Too Bad It's About You

You’d Like This Song, Too Bad It's About You

We met, we kissed, we fell in love
In that order on that night back Home
It was simple and sincere and just enough
I never feel that right alone
Scared to give it up so quickly
Finally healthy when I’ve acted so sickly

Now it’s all my fault
I’m gone, I’m gone
I can’t sugarcoat the ache
For a stupid song

Let’s call this what it is
And not what it’s not
I’m just a girl you loved
Then someone you forgot
Metaphors are lost on me
This heartbreak isn’t therapy
This isn’t “like” anything else
This stands alone by itself

You said I was the center of your universe
Turns out your universe was ten square kilometers
We ceased, we’re deceased and what’s even worse
You’ve got a new flame – I’d kill to meet her
It’s driving me insane, don’t know what to do
I left much too soon

Let’s call this what it is
And not what it’s not
I’m just a girl you fucked
up and lost
Metaphors are lost on me
You took away my irony
This isn’t “like” anything else
This stands alone by itself

I could say
You shot an arrow into my heart
It bled dry and crumbled apart
Just douse the wound with alcohol
So I can’t feel the sting at all
Our memories are a noose
But really what’s the use?

Now it’s all my fault
I’m gone, gone
Can’t admit we don’t belong

Let’s call this what it is
And not what it’s not
I’m just a girl you kissed
Or maybe not
Metaphors are lost on me
Our time was just a fantasy
This isn’t “like” anything else
This stands alone by itself

I’m gone, I’m gone
I can’t sugarcoat the ache
For a stupid song

Cloth

Cloth

Loving him was almost as painful as growing up
Somehow I made it through both without blowing myself up
I had a plan in my hands but I dropped it
Life was full speed ahead but an accident stopped it
It all slowed down
He was nowhere around

His love was dear but rough and I burned out
It wasn’t nearly enough for me as it turned out
I thought I was dead and I made my peace
The fireworks sparked as a final release
The crowd cheered
Then they all disappeared

Imagine my surprise to find you
Didn’t even have to try to find you

We’re cut from the same cloth, you and me
Laid down on the bed delicately
Egyptian cotton or lovely blue velvet
Who we are, I can’t tell yet
But you feel soft against my skin
Wrapped up in love again

The timing’s not perfect, but it never is
She’s no longer yours and I’m no longer his
It’s slow and it’s sweet, I wasn’t expecting
To like the image my mirror’s reflecting
We’ve got the same past
maybe we could last

Imagine my surprise to find you
Didn’t even have to try to find you

We’re cut from the same cloth, you and me
Laid down on the bed delicately
Egyptian cotton or lovely blue velvet
Who we are, I can’t tell yet
But you feel soft against my skin
Wrapped up in love again

Swimming in cashmere
Believing that you’re here to stay
At least for one more day

We’re cut from the same cloth, you and me
Laid down on the bed delicately
Egyptian cotton or lovely blue velvet
Who we are, I can’t tell yet
But you feel soft against my skin
Wrapped up in love again

Partner in Crime

Partner in Crime


I've done some evil things and I'm not proud
But I'm lucky enough to have found your face in the crowd
You whip out your machete on our first date
And stab the waiter in the face cause our food was late
You know how to treat a lady
And I swoon
That's what people crazy
In love will do

We could be Mickey and Mallory
On the cover of the national magazines
On the run
Splattered with blood
We sure make a pretty great team

I want us to be Bonnie and Clyde
I'm looking for a partner in crime
We'll rob a bank
It's you I thank
For making me feel so alive

If I'm stuck with you in jail
I hope we never make bail
I'll carve some soap into a knife
I'm your crazy outlaw wife
I'll distract the guard while you attack
No matter what happens I've got your back
We'll spread terror around this land
Hand in hand
And never look back

We could be Mickey and Mallory
Interviewed on TV screens
On the run
Splattered with blood
We sure make a pretty great team

I want us to be Bonnie and Clyde
I'm looking for a partner in crime
We'll rob a bank
It's you I thank
For making me feel so alive

We'll elope in Vegas
Our parents won't attend
Our families' all dead
They'll never trace us
We get in lots of trouble
But we're functional as a couple

When you're in the room no one else exists
I'm number one on your most wanted list
When I get the chair
I hope you're there
Can you see the sparks
Our love makes in the dark

We could be Mickey and Mallory
On the cover of the national magazines
On the run
Splattered with blood
We sure make a pretty great team

I want us to be Bonnie and Clyde
I'm looking for a partner in crime
We'll rob a bank
It's you I thank
For making me feel so alive

7, 488

7,488

My expiration date
Arrives in a week
I’m great, but past the date
Once forgotten
I go rotten

Time hasn’t passed
Our time went by too fast

I keep trying to convince you
So here’s my last shot
It’s just seven thousand
Four hundred and eighty eight miles
It feels like a million
But it’s not

Twelve thousand fifty one kilometers
Between you and me
It’s nothing when you look at the world
Objectively

We’re closer to each other
Than the north and south pole
I’m closer to you
Than with anyone I know

I keep trying to convince you
So here’s my last shot
It’s just seven thousand
Four hundred and eighty eight miles
It feels like a million
But it’s not

There’s more to it
But still it’s a start
It’s less than eight thousand miles
That keeps us apart

We both own a phone
I once owned a heart
But when I came home
It shattered apart

I stood at the ocean’s edge
On my side of the Pacific
One step closer to you
And it felt terrific
It was so blue
I was, too
I try

I keep trying to convince you
So here’s my last shot
It’s just seven thousand
Four hundred and eighty eight miles
It feels like a million
But it’s not

You don’t see it the same
But I understand
Might as well be a million
When you’re not holding my hand

It’s just
Seven thousand, four hundred, eighty eight miles
Twelve hundred dollars plus tax for the flight
The change of the seasons
Our family and friends
Your job
My career
Your new girlfriend
who’s with you each night
Okay it’s a lot
It really feels like
there’s a million reasons to forget you
But there’s not

Time hasn't passed
Our time went by too fast
Once forgotten
I go rotten
So don’t wait

Obviously, Doctor, You've Never Been A Thirteen-Year Old Girl

Obviously, Doctor, You've Never Been A Thirteen-Year Old Girl


in junior high, i hoped for all girls
Splitting up the genitalia we'd soon utilize
the stout, the skrawny, the before-their-time boys
thumping in their oversized Vans for first prize

the pony-tailed, high pitched pink KEDS to the back
loosened laces and rubber skid on the surface, shilacked
the boys' voices, not yet breaking, out of breath screaming
while the girls twirled their hair, forever daydreaming

Isn't it great to be thirteen
You got your whole life in front of you
But you're stuck
Somewhere in-between
Sorry, honey, you're fresh out of luck
There's no such thing as gravity
Things fall 'cause the world sucks

The pink KEDS never learned how to play
pushed to the back wall out of the way
except for the Tomboy, who'd one day get detention
for getting caught with the jock just to get his attention

Never listened to the gym teacher's reinforcements
Conditioned to adapt to a stoic's performance
They passed and jumped within
Ignored the mannequins
Staring at their swatch
The ball would roll by like tumbleweed
And we'd just watch

Isn't it great to be thirteen
You got your whole life in front of you
But you're stuck
Somewhere in-between
Sorry, honey, you're fresh out of luck
There's no such thing as gravity
Things fall 'cause the world sucks

You've got a stalker hanging by your locker
Covered in lisa frank stickers
You bleed out all the snickers
From the jailbait cheerleaders

You attract all the guys with their raging hormones
And distract with your sighs and your wailing whore moans
You're just following instructions
From the older girls' self-destructions

Isn't it great to be thirteen
You got your whole life in front of you
But you're stuck
Somewhere in-between
Sorry, honey, you're fresh out of luck
There's no such thing as gravity
Things fall 'cause the world sucks

It's exotic, narcotics, you swallow it down
You're psychotic, you've got it all figured out
you belong to the throng, it's all you have
bridge jumping is the newest fad
In a sense, it's all a lie
So kiss your innocence goodbye

Little girl, ditch the boys
You blew inside the school hallways
Echoing with high pitched noise
Suicide can save a rainy day

Isn't it great to be thirteen
Got your whole life in front of you
But you're stuck
Somewhere in-between
Sorry, honey, you're fresh out of luck
Things fall 'cause the world sucks

Don't worry, you'll escape alive
You still've got high school to survive

Thanks But No Thanks

thanks but no thanks

What am I supposed to do
With all the things I never said
It doesn't make them any less true
if they're kept inside my head
There's more to add to our story
I'm flipping through pamphlets in purgatory

So thanks for these words
You wish no one ever heard
Why are we fighting
I wish the same thing
Thanks for the pain
That became my refrain
I'd give up all my writing
All the songs I'd sing
Not to go through this again

You don't care I'm in disrepair
Hung like a weeping willow
While your night's sleep is always deep
On the cool side of the pillow
You aren't disturbed by our platonic demotion
How could I fall for someone with animatronic emotions

So thanks for these words
You wish no one ever heard
Why are we fighting
I wish the same thing
Thanks for the pain
That became my refrain
I'd give up all my writing
All the songs I'd sing
Not to go through this again

So this is it then
You're my friend
Her smile's my arrival at the end

It's all written down
That means that it's over
Only words of despair flow out like wine
Playing the sad clown
As the world's performer
Using our breakdown as the blueprint's design

So thanks for these words
You wish no one ever heard
Why are we fighting
I wish the same thing
Thanks for the pain
That became my refrain
I'd give up all my writing
All the songs I'd sing
Not to go through this again