The Film Scene

And now we're introduced to Kathleen and Damien:

Damien is majoring in film and prides himself on his creative side. He’s been supported his whole life by friends and family who don’t have the heart to tell him he isn’t a very good filmmaker or writer. The fact that he got into film school makes him believe even more how talented he is. Damien isn’t a loser, but a loner and a film geek. He has to film a scene for class but no one has auditioned for the role all day, except...

Kathleen, a very attractive girl who isn’t the best actress and has also lived a sheltered life free of criticism. She was one of the popular girls in high school, and her main goal in college was to get into a sorority. She wasn’t accepted to any. With nowhere else to go, she decides to become an actress, just because it seems glamorous. She didn’t get into any of the mainstage productions, so she settles for student projects.

The Film Scene

Damien sets up his camera. Kathleen enters.

KATHLEEN:
Are you Damien? I’m Kathleen
I’m here for the scene
I auditioned for the play
But MacBeth is so obscene!
So. Here’s my resume!

he takes it from her and reads it

DAMIEN:
It says here you were... prom queen?

KATHLEEN:
I’ve also done ballet.

DAMIEN:
There’s never been a girl more fit for the screen
Of all the girls I’ve seen today
Let’s just get this out of the way

KATHLEEN:
Okay!
Oh, by the way,
Does this pay?

DAMIEN:
Copy and credit as compensation
For the scene’s duration

KATHLEEN:
Met with much appreciation!

He hands her the script.

DAMIEN:
So – it’s Kathleen, right?
You’re a wife
You hate your husband and hate your life
So you pick up a carving knife
You won’t compromise!
It’s noir, so it takes place at night
Noir – it’s German for “no light”
I’m filming it in black and white
Can you memorize?
I’d also like an actress that cries on cue

He stares at her. Oh. She tries it – badly.

You’ll have to do.
Just sit right there in the chair
It won’t be long - I will direct you
If you do anything wrong then I will correct you.
Okay – I need a big reaction, he just walked in, and—
Action!

Kathleen reads from the script.

KATHLEEN:
Bob – you’ve finally returned
And you’ve got me burned
Don’t you kid me
I’m not just a wife, I’ve got a life
You can’t forbid me
Now you’ve learned
You’ve opened the door that I won’t shut—
Cut!

DAMIEN:
What?

KATHLEEN:
Cut?

DAMIEN:
That’s kind of my job.

KATHLEEN:
Damien, excuse me
I’ve got a problem with Bob.
Does he abuse me?
I’m an awful wife
Am I supposed to stab him with this knife?
It’s a very one sided fight
And can we get some more light?

DAMIEN:
This is how you shoot for noir! Now Bob walks through the door--

KATHLEEN:
But what exactly is my motive?

DAMIEN:
Well – Bob’s robbed you a life you want to live
You refuse to forgive
He’s oafish and mean!
You no longer want him alive!
I’ve got to return this equipment by five
Just read the scene
And memorize

KATHLEEN:
I apologize.

She looks up from script.

Bob, I won’t take it anymore
You hit me and in bed you snore
Sleeping with you is my most dreaded chore
And when you entered that front door
I think of the day I finally swore
I would never live as before
I am woman, hear me roar!
A voice so loud you can’t ignore!
Therefore
This is war!

DAMIEN:
Lightening strikes! It starts to pour!

KATHLEEN:
Excuse me?

DAMIEN:
Narration – for the mood.

KATHLEEN:
It’s awfully rude.

DAMIEN:
Please go on – you’ve got me glued.

KATHLEEN:
I’m sorry, but I have to admit
Who wrote this piece of shit?

DAMIEN:
It’s a scene from my feature – “The Black Widow Creature”

KATHLEEN:
I’m sure one day it’ll be a hit.
But isn’t the writing a bit on the nose?

DAMIEN:
This is how Hollywood goes.

KATHLEEN:
I suppose...

DAMIEN:
Your clothes.

KATHLEEN:
Yes?

DAMIEN:
You’ll have to redress
They’re red and green
Those colors won’t show up on screen
They aren’t right for black and white

KATHLEEN:
Damien – if I may
I know I’ve met you just today
But I think you’re missing the point
The purpose of a movie
Is forcing us to see
Our humanity
We’ve got to believe it
Or your audience will leave it be
So don’t disappoint
Damien, no one would say this
I simply can’t play this

DAMIEN:
Maybe you just can’t act.

KATHLEEN:
That could be true
Or maybe you’re scared of the fact
That your talent’s not all it’s cracked up to be
But just cracked
I know it’s hard to take advice
From a former prom queen
But believe me – I’m being nice
I’d like to help with your scene
Is it that big a sacrifice
To share credit?

DAMIEN:
A little bit.

KATHLEEN:
Don’t let it.
Collaboration helps you grow
Show business is always more “business” than “show”
Now first thing’s first – the title’s gotta go.