Drug Dream Boyfriend

Where are you?
You're supposed to be my best friend
And it's lonely waiting in line for the emo boy shows
All alone

Who are you?
A friend of a friend?
Or someone I already know?
Where'd you go?

take pictures of ourselves at arm's length
so we both fit in

That's where he kept me, never letting me in
I never wrote about our love
Only our pain
My whining and crying my constant refrain

But you

You're my drug dream boyfriend
My fantasy man
No one loves me like you can

You're my imaginary lover
My fake best friend
You treat me better than a real man can

Sailor Jerry

You've got a big dick, Sailor Jerry
You love to throw it around
You think you're pretty quick, Sailor Jerry
Clever, thick and just a clown

You treat girls like whores, Sailor Jerry
Recreate what you've seen on the net
Brush them off when you get bored, Sailor Jerry
There's always a willing participant

Fuck, drink, laugh, lie
You've only got one life
And it's all about you
Cheat, hurt, apologize
You're always someone's Mr. Right
You've not nothing to lose

You've got me stuck, Sailor Jerry
The unkindest of glue
A sitting duck, Sailor Jerry
I wait in line waiting for you

I visit your one bedroom, Sailor Jerry
Arriving late and staying til dawn
In the dark, you bulge, I bloom, Sailor Jerry
And then I'm gone

Lush

I wanted a partner in crime
But you wouldn't sin along with me
Dearie, half the time
You barely got along with me

I feel like my old boney self again
No TBA, no way
No friends
It's just the end
The end, the end

Felt more passion bout our break
Than when we were still us
Not my fashion, my mistake
You made me such a lush

Don't you worry, give me a day
I'll feel oh so better
Already blurry -- what's your name?
Were we once together?

I wanted a partner in crime
But you wouldn't sin along with me
Dearie, half the time
You barely got along with me

I feel like my old boney self again
No TBA, no way
No friends
It's just the end
The end, the end

Saturday Night

Saturday Night

Wish forever could be Saturday night
If I had my way
If I had my say
In how i lived my life

I forgot love can feel good
Forgot love doesn't only hurt
Take off your pants as we start to flirt
I lose my past as you lose your shirt

Is this love?
I have to ask it
As I put you next to all the rest of my fragile eggs
In a terribly good-looking basket

I bet at the end
I'll only see your face
This place
Everything else erased
All the jobs i had
All the friends i had
At the end I have
All that misplaced

Starting something far too drastic
What am I when my pen drops
When the words stop
When the flow clots
I hope something fantastic

Wish forever could feel like Saturday night
If i had my way
If i had my say
That life turns out alright

#1 Fan

#1 Fan

The movies, the music, the art
The only things that accept my heart
I turn them on and they turn me on
I don't get mixed signals from a song

I can go to all your concerts
I can buy up all your t-shirts
I can frame your autograph
I don't ask for more than that

I can indulge my curiosity
My staring at the magazines
With you I'm not afraid to flirt
Love is not supposed to hurt

I'll gladly sing your lyrics
As I go into hysterics
Loneliness that's thrilling
One-sided, but fullfilling

I can get tickets to your shows
I can watch your videos
Our connection no one knows
You never say let's take it slow

Music is never going through a depression
Films never get the wrong impression
Art's behaviors always great
It never favors my roommate

Humans feel uneasy when they're haunted
Obsessively
But their creations crave to be wanted
Unconditionally

I'd give real men a chance
If they could make me dance
Like music, movies and art
The only things that deserve my heart

Miss Popularity

Miss Popularity

I remember how you used to tell me what to wear
How to act, how to kiss boys
You smirked and laughed
Kept piling your experience right in my lap
But no one would be kissing me
I’m no miss popularity

I bored you with my A’s
Wore whatever my mom laid out
You carried your premature cleavage like a pro
My use was to applaud the real star of the show
Made me feel bad, but I still stuck around
I was your best friend when no one else was around

Are you better than me?
Whose the judge?

Heard you dropped out senior year
Went through questionable phases and guys
Snuck into the prom while high
Can’t say I was surprised
I went to a prestigious school
And forgot all about trying to fake being cool

I’ve been in love, and been loved back
Thanks to the person you wanted to change
Didn’t have your lips, your hips, your ass
Found out I, too, was a helluva catch
Never had any luck with your man-eating help
I figured it out for myself

I heard you got two, no three kids now
No ring, no degree
You look the same you did in sixth grade
Your questionable choices have never changed
Living my life wasn’t easy
But I got better gradually

am i better than you?
who's to judge?

I lived through my own rebellion
You never outgrew yours
I never really listened to a word from you
But kept letting you tell me what to do
Because I was too polite
Always knew you couldn’t be right

I guess it’s sweet revenge in a way
Prove how unnecessary all your wisdom was
But I never did anything to impress
Lived my life to be my own best
You always worried about what others would think
That can weigh you down and make you sink

I remember how you used to tell me what to share
Tell me your secrets, I'll take them to my grave
You don't know the meaning of "eventually"
You were too scared to miss popularity
I can't help but smile
Things can change if you just wait awhile

Romeo and Juliet

Romeo and Juliet

I don't like airports
That's where we said goodbye
I loosened my grip around your lips
I turned my back to fly

I stare out the window
At my tomorrow
I see the city below
The clouds and my sorrow
Anyone got a spare
Passport I could borrow?

It's me
And you and me
On the balcony
At Home.
Now a "we"
Just you and me
With an eternity
To roam.
Holding hands
In ecstasy
Like I've never known.
Unfolding plans
Impatiently
On the balcony
Of Home.

You bring home a new girl
Every Christmas Eve
Mom, Dad, I’m in love
And this one won’t leave

I was the fourth
She won't be the last
When she's gone, that slot
Will fill up real fast
Thought I was the one
But I was miscast

It was me
And you and me
On the balcony
At Home.
Once a "we"
Just you and me
Whispers, laughs
And moans.
Holding hands
In ecstasy
Like I've never known.
Creating plans
Hopefully
On the balcony
Of Home.

I was in love once
And I've got the proof
Hundreds of photos
Of me and you

I can touch them
My fingerprints smudge them
At some point in time
You were mine
Life matched the ideal
Irregardless how you now feel
We combined

It’s just me
Daydreaming
Wistfully
At home.
Once a "we"
Just you and me
With an eternity
To roam.
Miming trips
Of ecstasy
To not feel so alone
I’ll see you back
Eventually
On the balcony
Of Home.

The Nomad

The Nomad

For awhile it was all New York City
A lazy stroll through the park
Or take in a Broadway matinee
The nightlife is incredible
The one place pizza is edible
The grea-
test things a subway ride away

Complete at midnight
Bored by dawn
I yawn
Something isn't right...

Pack up
Pack up
Wave goodbye

I keep changing
I can't stop rearranging
How I define myself
As I try to find myself
Different places, different men
I always wind up here again
And again
And again

Then came in style was somewhere more... pretty
Packed up my pipe dreams on a lark
And shipped myself to LA
Cocaine and VIP lines
Accepted, victimless crimes
Let's play
As the palm trees above our egos sway

Complete at midnight
Bored by dawn
I yawn
Something just isn't right...

Smack up
Shack up
With some guy

I keep changing
I can't stop rearranging
How I define myself
As I try to find myself
Dye my hair, ink my skin
I come out the same again
And again
And again

What made me smile I found out was Sydney
Those aussies really have a spark
So happy and so far away
Daily routine a novelty
No worries, friends or family
It's okay
Isolation's what I crave today

Back up
Back up
Back up
Back up

See, the strange thing
With the scenery I keep exchanging
The only thing that gets better
Are the accents and the weather
No matter how well I plan
I'll just make up my mind again
And again
And again

Blonde or brunette
It's not yet
What I want
I forget
That it's not
What I get
Where I'm placed
It's the chase
And the threat
Getting caught
Getting trapped
I'll adapt
Wherever I go
I know
I bet I'll be a bit upset

I keep changing
I can't stop rearranging
How I define myself
As I try to find myself
Different places, different men
I always wind up here again
And again
And again

And again
And again
And again
And again
And again

I Gave Him My Heart, He Gave Me a Pen

I Gave Him My Heart, He Gave Me a Pen

I gave you my heart, and you gave me a pen
Promised myself I'd never come back here again
The ink blots as a I think lots about where we stand
You mumbled you'd see me but you never said when

I'm upset, but I shouldn't be
I'm an independent woman
Right?
I'm outspoken
Still heart broken
How serious can you get in one night?

How come I fall for strangers so easily?
How come I live inside my head?
How come I'm not in therapy already?
I spend all my time invested in you instead
I gave you my heart and you gave me a pen

I wore a sexy new black skirt today
Cost me the worth of an entire week's pay
I don't hide, slipped inside my diamond heels
My tits and my tattoo fully on display

Wish I didn't have to beg for you to be able
To prefer my company to what looks good on cable
I'm blurring more during our four-star meal
Playing footsie with the leg of the table

I'm mistaken, but I couldn't be
Our connection you can't
Forget
You're running late
While I'm dressed to the eights
That's as close as I possibly get

How come I stall moving on?
I keep picking the scab that already bled
Thought I could say anything, I was wrong
I desperately seek your approval instead
I gave you my heart and you gave me a pen

I try and restart, and pick up your pen
Write you a letter to see how you've been
It's been so long the ink's gone and the page is still white
So much for leaving your mark on my life

For Her Sake, I Hope You Don't Realize This Is About You

For Her Sake, I Hope You Don't Realize This Is About You

I miss our nights of ordering in
Never thought that's something I'd one day be missing
I'd lay on your shoulder and complain about him
Just a few more inches and we'd be kissing

We'd waste the night doing not that much
Your roommate's out of town, got the place to ourselves
Drinking, thinking how we could possibly touch
Our friendship was perfect but I went through hell

You used to tell me all your secrets
But now you whisper them to her
It was never about the sex
Forget the way we were
She's just the one that you prefer

Always assumed it would happen one day
Destiny, fate and other big words
I never had the courage to stand up and say
Swallowed it down not to make things awkward

Now I stumble my way through euphimisms
To platonically express just how great you are
Funny enough, that's my one criticism
If you change your mind... I won't be too far

You used to tell me all your secrets
But now you whisper them to her
It was never about the sex
Forget the way we were
She's just the one that you prefer

Hanging out
Just meant
Hanging out

I think I'll build a time machine
Go back and relive the moments I wasted
Enjoy the thought, we could have been
Your voice on my ear, your mouth never tasted

You used to tell me all your secrets
But now you whisper them to her
It was never about the sex
Forget the way we were
She's just the one that you prefer

The Ladies Who Lunch (And Immediately Throw It Back Up)

i may as well post some of the parodies I write in here. Here's one about "celebutards", sung to the tune of Sondheim's The Ladies Who Lunch from "Company."

The Ladies Who Lunch (And Immediately Throw It Back Up)

Here's what I saw at Toast:

Here’s to the ladies who lunch
And never eat a thing
Lounging with their VIP
Actresses bunch
Without ordering
Off to the spa
Tan and relaxing
At a poolside
Wearing no bra
And their snatch seen
Outside of Hyde
Does anyone still go to Hyde?
I’ll drink to that.

And here’s to the girls who play dumb
Just for their careers
Looking oh so cheerful
Throughout their boredom
Look at Britney Spears
Once was a star, a strong debut
Now a Fed-Ex Missus
Baby #2, cheesy tattoo
A day trip to Promises
I’ll drink for her
And one for Lindsay!

And here’s to girls with rockstars
Greek shipping heirs and such
Holding hands but clutching
A copy of Star,
Us Weekly and In Touch
Ignoring through their bug-eye glasses
The douchebags who grab at their asses
The toast of LA’s upper classes
Driving drunk and high
A DUI!
Aren’t they to die?

And here’s to the girls who wear furs
And too-short mini-skirts
Little rich flirts
Shouting racial slurs
Everybody hurts
A way to get attention, though
Through only bad decisions
Another blonde extention, blow
Some B-Lister in night-vision
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
I’ll download that.

So here’s to the girls not on set
Exhaustion is unwise
Engaged to guys
That they’ve never even met
Claim papparazzi spies
In love with the fact that they’re hated
Convinced it’s the life they’ve been fated
Hospitalized for being dehydrated
All of it is lies!
Lies!
Lies! Lies! Lies! Lies! Lies!
Lies!

A Fish and a Bird

You're a fish
And I'm a bird
You're stuck in the water
I'm all over the world
I'll drown for you
If you wanted me to
Grant me this wish
I give you my word

Still pains me times a million
That I'm no longer in your photos
The place next to me, where you should be
I pose solo

Catch myself holding my breath
When I turn the corner onto the staircase
That you might be there
Jetlagged
Flowers
Waiting for me
Like I've been waiting for you

There's no one in the whole entire world I want to hug
To love
More than you
Although I know if we met again
You'd give me an empty embrace
Politely smile through niceities
Small talk

You're a fish
And I'm a bird
You're stuck in the water
I'm all over the world
I'll drown for you
If you wanted me to
Grant me this wish
I give you my word

Haven't you heard
I've run out of
All I could possibly give
A fish and a bird
Could fall in love
But where would they possibly live?

I'll drown for you
If you wanted me to
Grant me this wish
I give you my word

Target Practice

Target Practice

I've got ten stars counting down to zero on my wrist
Explode like alpha centauri when I make a fist
I gave you my secrets you earned just cause you exist
Now everything left is locked up but it won't be missed

Slam my heart against the fucking wall
Bullseye
"Grow apart" happens to us all
Don't lie

I flip through all the photos and I gaze at all the faces
It's not so easy for anyone to get in my good graces
Don't know what I'm doing still perusing your myspaces
Obsessed with your new piercing and all the precious time I've wasted

Hang my heart proudly on your wall
Beside your reindeer head
"Grow apart" happens to us all
But what you really mean is "dead"

This is all a game to you
Each "I love you" is the same to you
My usless heart
Safety pinned
To my skin
You win

Slam my heart against the fucking wall
Bullseye
"Grow apart" happens to us all
Don't lie

Hang my heart proudly on your wall
Beside your reindeer head
"Grow apart" happens to us all
But what you really mean is "dead"

It's Raining

It's Raining

It's raining, how appropriate, like the world just knew
Having rain falling down right now would fit the mood

It wouldn't feel right if the sun was out instead
The black-lite stars stuck to my ceiling are crashing on my head

What's a girl to do
But stay all day in bed

I wear my anger awkwardly, it hangs off me like a mess
Masochism becomes me, like a pig's blood soaked prom dress

If I'm not my faults then I dissapear
Misery's a part time job, I've made it my career

A damsel in distress
Wishing you were here

Try a smile in denial, pretending it's all good
Real tragedy feels funny, isn't quickly understood

Divide it all by comedy and what you've got left is time
Feel alive while breaking down, it's never worth the rhyme

I bet if I could
I would feel sublime

It's raining, how predictable, but never with objection
I splash puddles on purpose to get rid of my reflection

I'm human, I'm not special with my universal sorrow
Blinded by the sunshine, I got rainclouds you could borrow

Right now need I attention
I'll be fine alone tomorrow

Puzzle Piece

Puzzle Piece

I'm like a missing puzzle piece
Neglected and mistreated
Can never find my peace
Till my picture is completed

I search for others like me but I fumble
Mixed in with pieces of Sorry and Trouble
The thimble and shoe from Monopoly
Lost misfits just like me

Found what I want but wound up here instead
Pound a square hole with a misshapen peg
A plastic wishbone, a wild card
Fun for all ages but it's still much too hard

I'm like a missing puzzle piece
Neglected and mistreated
Can never find my peace
Till my picture is completed

So many different sides to me
No one fits me perfectly
Whose gonna be the performer?
Whose gonna be the sex?
Whose gonna be the music?
Whose gonna be next?

I'm curious to see who'll get to me first
Take even the worst if they're quick to quench my thirst
You touched my heart and botched my operation
Wipe the board clean cause I'm really impatient

I'm like a missing puzzle piece
Neglected and mistreated
Can never find my peace
Till my picture is completed

Like a missing puzzle piece
Gone without a trace
Picture's seen, at least
But really, what a waste

On the Rocks

On the Rocks

Cosmo's lose their taste when you're serving them yourself
Use my brain to judge the remains of what's on the top shelf
Roll my eyes, sigh, as I pour and pour
Got a loser throwing up all over the floor
This is growing up, what I worked so hard for
This guy and my degree, face it
Both of them are truly wasted

I'm living life on the rocks
Trapped in my bar room box
C'mon, tell
Me your life story

I'm living life on the rocks
Beer on tap that talks
Tip me well
I'm yours till the morning

A famous actor in the corner giving some blonde kisses
I read the gossip rags so I'm aware it's not his missus
Slips me a tip while starin' at my tits
Let the dim-lit adultery
Continue on my shift
Doesn't give a shit to me
Funny, he plays a queer on TV

Want a double, just say the word
You like it shaken, not stirred
That's the drink that Bond preferred
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard

I'm living life on the rocks
Trapped in my barroom box
C'mon, tell
Me your life story

I'm living life on the rocks
Beer on tap that talks
Tip me well
I'm yours till the morning

If you've got the goods I've got the time
Lick the salt onto my wrist and hand you a lime
Any takers among the fakers?
Shaking my martini shakers
I'll have you and you'll have Maker's
Gotta make the night go by quicker
A girl wants love but all I've got is liquor

Want it stronger, just tell me when
I like it how I like my men
Never get attention like this again
I oughtta find a better job, but til then...

I'm living life on the rocks
Trapped in my bar room box
C'mon, tell
Me your life story

I'm living life on the rocks
Stuck with drunk nighthawks
What the hell
At least it's never boring

Tongue Ring In Chic

Tongue Ring In Chic (I'm Not Bad, I'm Just Drawn That Way)


Didn't enjoy much living straight edge
It got boring fast, and I crave a challenge
Dyed black hair over half your face
Mysteries are riskier and make my heart race

If you want to get my number
Drop and be a goth nightclubber
What can I say, I've got a turn on for danger
I like my men a little stranger

I want a guy with a sleeve
Separate from his black band tee
Spiky hair, studded belt
Emotional boys make me melt

Oh, your checkered Vans, tongue ring
Water bottle, skull bling
There's surely nothing finer
Than a boy who's man enough for eyeliner

This is who I want today
I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way

Minor sins and safety pins are something more dramatic
Your're a breath of fresh air for a recovering asthmatic
It's a new me who picked you and you better thank her
Rather date a drug dealer than an investment banker

Got on my costume, feel like a poser
But the charade's worth it to get us closer
Is it just what we wear? I guess I'll never know
Either way, like I care, we're best without our clothes

I want a guy with a sleeve
Separate from his black band tee
Spiky hair, studded belt
Emotional boys make me melt

Oh, my checkered Vans, tongue ring
Water bottle, skull bling
No better way to get attention
Than to have a definition

This is who I am today
I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way

Cries for attention across the street
You scare away others, but I find it sweet
I'm a groupie for your faux rockstar
A master at your air guitar

Air guitar solo!

Oh, your Checkered vans, tongue ring
Water bottle, skull bling
There's surely nothing finer
Than a boy who's man enough for eyeliner

Dont' tell me it's just a phase
I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way

A Fist Wrapped in Blood

A Fist Wrapped In Blood

I’ll be the rockstar and you’ll be my band
Matching Halloween costumes I’ve already planned
Locking hands and eyes in line at Disneyland
I’ll be your lady and you’ll be my man

Too perfect to be real right from the start
Our potential so thrilling it could have been art
I kept it going cause I’m not that smart
Just empty words from an empty heart

Lovers that thrive on apologies
It’s not working obviously
Just cause to worry
With every I’m sorry
You and me were not meant to be

Lovers that thrive on apologies
Loving apathetically
Thought you were better
Than a wolf in a sweater
You and me were not meant to be

You demanded and I supplied
Keeping your distance while still at my side
Your shadowed past your alibi
My heart in your hands you pumped it dry

Your gentleman caller act successfully pulled me
Your polite performance acted out cruelly
Pushed me around like a valentine's bully
But I’m not ashamed I know how to love fully

Lovers that thrive on apologies
It’s not working obviously
Just cause to worry
With every I’m sorry
You and me were not meant to be

Lovers that thrive on apologies
Loving apathetically
Thought you were better
Than a wolf in a sweater
You and me were not meant to be

XXX

X X X

It's been over a year of not feeling right
I'd love to know what indifference feels like
It's so clearly always you
In every single fucking song I write

Are you that insecure
is that what you're dating her for?

I can't say goodbye
My white flag waving in the sky
What can I do to get unstuck
Fuck you for having all the luck

Are you that frightened by the fall
Your jokes echoe off the walls
Checking my cell for your missed call
While pantomime in bathroom stalls

Thanks for making me reaccess
Every memory I have left of us

I can't say goodbye
My white flag waving in the sky
What can I do to get unstuck
Fuck you for having all the luck

Was I just company, too, while you were my knight
Were your words in bed a way to fill up the night?
What I heard instead
Hung like a stalagamite

Every memory ruined for good
You let go but I never could

I can't say goodbye
My white flag waving in the sky
What can I do to get unstuck
Fuck you for having all the luck

I can't say goodbye
My white flag waving in the sky
What can I do to get unstuck
Fuck you for having all the luck

Antigone

Antigone

This morning while mourning I rolled out on the wrong side of the grave
Caught in my coffin I've outgrown but it's cozy and it's safe
Panic attacks while still snoring
Slipping out of your arms as the bacon sizzles
Flipping out once again through sunshine or drizzles
Loving you has grown to be boring

I pray for the day
You're not longer good for a rhyme
I hate to say, it's not my time
And today is not that day

I'm nowhere finished with my writing
Begrudgingly finished with my writhing
I hated how you always got me blushing like a rose
We cruised through our romance
I'm bruised by our last dance
Your dilapidated Vans were crushing my toes

I like the look of your lies when your eyes dilate
I should look for another, sober suitor to date
One that can imitate your walk just right
Still got the body of a female
And a disembodied email
Can't take me out tonight

I pray for the day
When you're no longer good for a rhyme
I hate to say, it's not my time
And today is not that day

There's got to be
Someone kinder than you
Who reminds me of you
Some humility
I couldn't find in you
I was blinded by you
Now I can see
But I'd much rather be
Antigone

I let down the countdown
No kisses at midnight, I'm missing the song
The parade did fade but you're still going strong
Your welcome's outstayed

I pray for the day
When you're no longer good for a rhyme
I hate to say, it's not my time
And today is not that day

I pray for the day
When you're no longer good for a rhyme
I hate to say, it's not my time
And today is not that day