Drug Dream Boyfriend

Where are you?
You're supposed to be my best friend
And it's lonely waiting in line for the emo boy shows
All alone

Who are you?
A friend of a friend?
Or someone I already know?
Where'd you go?

take pictures of ourselves at arm's length
so we both fit in

That's where he kept me, never letting me in
I never wrote about our love
Only our pain
My whining and crying my constant refrain

But you

You're my drug dream boyfriend
My fantasy man
No one loves me like you can

You're my imaginary lover
My fake best friend
You treat me better than a real man can

Sailor Jerry

You've got a big dick, Sailor Jerry
You love to throw it around
You think you're pretty quick, Sailor Jerry
Clever, thick and just a clown

You treat girls like whores, Sailor Jerry
Recreate what you've seen on the net
Brush them off when you get bored, Sailor Jerry
There's always a willing participant

Fuck, drink, laugh, lie
You've only got one life
And it's all about you
Cheat, hurt, apologize
You're always someone's Mr. Right
You've not nothing to lose

You've got me stuck, Sailor Jerry
The unkindest of glue
A sitting duck, Sailor Jerry
I wait in line waiting for you

I visit your one bedroom, Sailor Jerry
Arriving late and staying til dawn
In the dark, you bulge, I bloom, Sailor Jerry
And then I'm gone

Lush

I wanted a partner in crime
But you wouldn't sin along with me
Dearie, half the time
You barely got along with me

I feel like my old boney self again
No TBA, no way
No friends
It's just the end
The end, the end

Felt more passion bout our break
Than when we were still us
Not my fashion, my mistake
You made me such a lush

Don't you worry, give me a day
I'll feel oh so better
Already blurry -- what's your name?
Were we once together?

I wanted a partner in crime
But you wouldn't sin along with me
Dearie, half the time
You barely got along with me

I feel like my old boney self again
No TBA, no way
No friends
It's just the end
The end, the end

Saturday Night

Saturday Night

Wish forever could be Saturday night
If I had my way
If I had my say
In how i lived my life

I forgot love can feel good
Forgot love doesn't only hurt
Take off your pants as we start to flirt
I lose my past as you lose your shirt

Is this love?
I have to ask it
As I put you next to all the rest of my fragile eggs
In a terribly good-looking basket

I bet at the end
I'll only see your face
This place
Everything else erased
All the jobs i had
All the friends i had
At the end I have
All that misplaced

Starting something far too drastic
What am I when my pen drops
When the words stop
When the flow clots
I hope something fantastic

Wish forever could feel like Saturday night
If i had my way
If i had my say
That life turns out alright

#1 Fan

#1 Fan

The movies, the music, the art
The only things that accept my heart
I turn them on and they turn me on
I don't get mixed signals from a song

I can go to all your concerts
I can buy up all your t-shirts
I can frame your autograph
I don't ask for more than that

I can indulge my curiosity
My staring at the magazines
With you I'm not afraid to flirt
Love is not supposed to hurt

I'll gladly sing your lyrics
As I go into hysterics
Loneliness that's thrilling
One-sided, but fullfilling

I can get tickets to your shows
I can watch your videos
Our connection no one knows
You never say let's take it slow

Music is never going through a depression
Films never get the wrong impression
Art's behaviors always great
It never favors my roommate

Humans feel uneasy when they're haunted
Obsessively
But their creations crave to be wanted
Unconditionally

I'd give real men a chance
If they could make me dance
Like music, movies and art
The only things that deserve my heart

Miss Popularity

Miss Popularity

I remember how you used to tell me what to wear
How to act, how to kiss boys
You smirked and laughed
Kept piling your experience right in my lap
But no one would be kissing me
I’m no miss popularity

I bored you with my A’s
Wore whatever my mom laid out
You carried your premature cleavage like a pro
My use was to applaud the real star of the show
Made me feel bad, but I still stuck around
I was your best friend when no one else was around

Are you better than me?
Whose the judge?

Heard you dropped out senior year
Went through questionable phases and guys
Snuck into the prom while high
Can’t say I was surprised
I went to a prestigious school
And forgot all about trying to fake being cool

I’ve been in love, and been loved back
Thanks to the person you wanted to change
Didn’t have your lips, your hips, your ass
Found out I, too, was a helluva catch
Never had any luck with your man-eating help
I figured it out for myself

I heard you got two, no three kids now
No ring, no degree
You look the same you did in sixth grade
Your questionable choices have never changed
Living my life wasn’t easy
But I got better gradually

am i better than you?
who's to judge?

I lived through my own rebellion
You never outgrew yours
I never really listened to a word from you
But kept letting you tell me what to do
Because I was too polite
Always knew you couldn’t be right

I guess it’s sweet revenge in a way
Prove how unnecessary all your wisdom was
But I never did anything to impress
Lived my life to be my own best
You always worried about what others would think
That can weigh you down and make you sink

I remember how you used to tell me what to share
Tell me your secrets, I'll take them to my grave
You don't know the meaning of "eventually"
You were too scared to miss popularity
I can't help but smile
Things can change if you just wait awhile

Romeo and Juliet

Romeo and Juliet

I don't like airports
That's where we said goodbye
I loosened my grip around your lips
I turned my back to fly

I stare out the window
At my tomorrow
I see the city below
The clouds and my sorrow
Anyone got a spare
Passport I could borrow?

It's me
And you and me
On the balcony
At Home.
Now a "we"
Just you and me
With an eternity
To roam.
Holding hands
In ecstasy
Like I've never known.
Unfolding plans
Impatiently
On the balcony
Of Home.

You bring home a new girl
Every Christmas Eve
Mom, Dad, I’m in love
And this one won’t leave

I was the fourth
She won't be the last
When she's gone, that slot
Will fill up real fast
Thought I was the one
But I was miscast

It was me
And you and me
On the balcony
At Home.
Once a "we"
Just you and me
Whispers, laughs
And moans.
Holding hands
In ecstasy
Like I've never known.
Creating plans
Hopefully
On the balcony
Of Home.

I was in love once
And I've got the proof
Hundreds of photos
Of me and you

I can touch them
My fingerprints smudge them
At some point in time
You were mine
Life matched the ideal
Irregardless how you now feel
We combined

It’s just me
Daydreaming
Wistfully
At home.
Once a "we"
Just you and me
With an eternity
To roam.
Miming trips
Of ecstasy
To not feel so alone
I’ll see you back
Eventually
On the balcony
Of Home.

The Nomad

The Nomad

For awhile it was all New York City
A lazy stroll through the park
Or take in a Broadway matinee
The nightlife is incredible
The one place pizza is edible
The grea-
test things a subway ride away

Complete at midnight
Bored by dawn
I yawn
Something isn't right...

Pack up
Pack up
Wave goodbye

I keep changing
I can't stop rearranging
How I define myself
As I try to find myself
Different places, different men
I always wind up here again
And again
And again

Then came in style was somewhere more... pretty
Packed up my pipe dreams on a lark
And shipped myself to LA
Cocaine and VIP lines
Accepted, victimless crimes
Let's play
As the palm trees above our egos sway

Complete at midnight
Bored by dawn
I yawn
Something just isn't right...

Smack up
Shack up
With some guy

I keep changing
I can't stop rearranging
How I define myself
As I try to find myself
Dye my hair, ink my skin
I come out the same again
And again
And again

What made me smile I found out was Sydney
Those aussies really have a spark
So happy and so far away
Daily routine a novelty
No worries, friends or family
It's okay
Isolation's what I crave today

Back up
Back up
Back up
Back up

See, the strange thing
With the scenery I keep exchanging
The only thing that gets better
Are the accents and the weather
No matter how well I plan
I'll just make up my mind again
And again
And again

Blonde or brunette
It's not yet
What I want
I forget
That it's not
What I get
Where I'm placed
It's the chase
And the threat
Getting caught
Getting trapped
I'll adapt
Wherever I go
I know
I bet I'll be a bit upset

I keep changing
I can't stop rearranging
How I define myself
As I try to find myself
Different places, different men
I always wind up here again
And again
And again

And again
And again
And again
And again
And again

I Gave Him My Heart, He Gave Me a Pen

I Gave Him My Heart, He Gave Me a Pen

I gave you my heart, and you gave me a pen
Promised myself I'd never come back here again
The ink blots as a I think lots about where we stand
You mumbled you'd see me but you never said when

I'm upset, but I shouldn't be
I'm an independent woman
Right?
I'm outspoken
Still heart broken
How serious can you get in one night?

How come I fall for strangers so easily?
How come I live inside my head?
How come I'm not in therapy already?
I spend all my time invested in you instead
I gave you my heart and you gave me a pen

I wore a sexy new black skirt today
Cost me the worth of an entire week's pay
I don't hide, slipped inside my diamond heels
My tits and my tattoo fully on display

Wish I didn't have to beg for you to be able
To prefer my company to what looks good on cable
I'm blurring more during our four-star meal
Playing footsie with the leg of the table

I'm mistaken, but I couldn't be
Our connection you can't
Forget
You're running late
While I'm dressed to the eights
That's as close as I possibly get

How come I stall moving on?
I keep picking the scab that already bled
Thought I could say anything, I was wrong
I desperately seek your approval instead
I gave you my heart and you gave me a pen

I try and restart, and pick up your pen
Write you a letter to see how you've been
It's been so long the ink's gone and the page is still white
So much for leaving your mark on my life

For Her Sake, I Hope You Don't Realize This Is About You

For Her Sake, I Hope You Don't Realize This Is About You

I miss our nights of ordering in
Never thought that's something I'd one day be missing
I'd lay on your shoulder and complain about him
Just a few more inches and we'd be kissing

We'd waste the night doing not that much
Your roommate's out of town, got the place to ourselves
Drinking, thinking how we could possibly touch
Our friendship was perfect but I went through hell

You used to tell me all your secrets
But now you whisper them to her
It was never about the sex
Forget the way we were
She's just the one that you prefer

Always assumed it would happen one day
Destiny, fate and other big words
I never had the courage to stand up and say
Swallowed it down not to make things awkward

Now I stumble my way through euphimisms
To platonically express just how great you are
Funny enough, that's my one criticism
If you change your mind... I won't be too far

You used to tell me all your secrets
But now you whisper them to her
It was never about the sex
Forget the way we were
She's just the one that you prefer

Hanging out
Just meant
Hanging out

I think I'll build a time machine
Go back and relive the moments I wasted
Enjoy the thought, we could have been
Your voice on my ear, your mouth never tasted

You used to tell me all your secrets
But now you whisper them to her
It was never about the sex
Forget the way we were
She's just the one that you prefer

The Ladies Who Lunch (And Immediately Throw It Back Up)

i may as well post some of the parodies I write in here. Here's one about "celebutards", sung to the tune of Sondheim's The Ladies Who Lunch from "Company."

The Ladies Who Lunch (And Immediately Throw It Back Up)

Here's what I saw at Toast:

Here’s to the ladies who lunch
And never eat a thing
Lounging with their VIP
Actresses bunch
Without ordering
Off to the spa
Tan and relaxing
At a poolside
Wearing no bra
And their snatch seen
Outside of Hyde
Does anyone still go to Hyde?
I’ll drink to that.

And here’s to the girls who play dumb
Just for their careers
Looking oh so cheerful
Throughout their boredom
Look at Britney Spears
Once was a star, a strong debut
Now a Fed-Ex Missus
Baby #2, cheesy tattoo
A day trip to Promises
I’ll drink for her
And one for Lindsay!

And here’s to girls with rockstars
Greek shipping heirs and such
Holding hands but clutching
A copy of Star,
Us Weekly and In Touch
Ignoring through their bug-eye glasses
The douchebags who grab at their asses
The toast of LA’s upper classes
Driving drunk and high
A DUI!
Aren’t they to die?

And here’s to the girls who wear furs
And too-short mini-skirts
Little rich flirts
Shouting racial slurs
Everybody hurts
A way to get attention, though
Through only bad decisions
Another blonde extention, blow
Some B-Lister in night-vision
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
I’ll download that.

So here’s to the girls not on set
Exhaustion is unwise
Engaged to guys
That they’ve never even met
Claim papparazzi spies
In love with the fact that they’re hated
Convinced it’s the life they’ve been fated
Hospitalized for being dehydrated
All of it is lies!
Lies!
Lies! Lies! Lies! Lies! Lies!
Lies!

A Fish and a Bird

You're a fish
And I'm a bird
You're stuck in the water
I'm all over the world
I'll drown for you
If you wanted me to
Grant me this wish
I give you my word

Still pains me times a million
That I'm no longer in your photos
The place next to me, where you should be
I pose solo

Catch myself holding my breath
When I turn the corner onto the staircase
That you might be there
Jetlagged
Flowers
Waiting for me
Like I've been waiting for you

There's no one in the whole entire world I want to hug
To love
More than you
Although I know if we met again
You'd give me an empty embrace
Politely smile through niceities
Small talk

You're a fish
And I'm a bird
You're stuck in the water
I'm all over the world
I'll drown for you
If you wanted me to
Grant me this wish
I give you my word

Haven't you heard
I've run out of
All I could possibly give
A fish and a bird
Could fall in love
But where would they possibly live?

I'll drown for you
If you wanted me to
Grant me this wish
I give you my word

Target Practice

Target Practice

I've got ten stars counting down to zero on my wrist
Explode like alpha centauri when I make a fist
I gave you my secrets you earned just cause you exist
Now everything left is locked up but it won't be missed

Slam my heart against the fucking wall
Bullseye
"Grow apart" happens to us all
Don't lie

I flip through all the photos and I gaze at all the faces
It's not so easy for anyone to get in my good graces
Don't know what I'm doing still perusing your myspaces
Obsessed with your new piercing and all the precious time I've wasted

Hang my heart proudly on your wall
Beside your reindeer head
"Grow apart" happens to us all
But what you really mean is "dead"

This is all a game to you
Each "I love you" is the same to you
My usless heart
Safety pinned
To my skin
You win

Slam my heart against the fucking wall
Bullseye
"Grow apart" happens to us all
Don't lie

Hang my heart proudly on your wall
Beside your reindeer head
"Grow apart" happens to us all
But what you really mean is "dead"

It's Raining

It's Raining

It's raining, how appropriate, like the world just knew
Having rain falling down right now would fit the mood

It wouldn't feel right if the sun was out instead
The black-lite stars stuck to my ceiling are crashing on my head

What's a girl to do
But stay all day in bed

I wear my anger awkwardly, it hangs off me like a mess
Masochism becomes me, like a pig's blood soaked prom dress

If I'm not my faults then I dissapear
Misery's a part time job, I've made it my career

A damsel in distress
Wishing you were here

Try a smile in denial, pretending it's all good
Real tragedy feels funny, isn't quickly understood

Divide it all by comedy and what you've got left is time
Feel alive while breaking down, it's never worth the rhyme

I bet if I could
I would feel sublime

It's raining, how predictable, but never with objection
I splash puddles on purpose to get rid of my reflection

I'm human, I'm not special with my universal sorrow
Blinded by the sunshine, I got rainclouds you could borrow

Right now need I attention
I'll be fine alone tomorrow

Puzzle Piece

Puzzle Piece

I'm like a missing puzzle piece
Neglected and mistreated
Can never find my peace
Till my picture is completed

I search for others like me but I fumble
Mixed in with pieces of Sorry and Trouble
The thimble and shoe from Monopoly
Lost misfits just like me

Found what I want but wound up here instead
Pound a square hole with a misshapen peg
A plastic wishbone, a wild card
Fun for all ages but it's still much too hard

I'm like a missing puzzle piece
Neglected and mistreated
Can never find my peace
Till my picture is completed

So many different sides to me
No one fits me perfectly
Whose gonna be the performer?
Whose gonna be the sex?
Whose gonna be the music?
Whose gonna be next?

I'm curious to see who'll get to me first
Take even the worst if they're quick to quench my thirst
You touched my heart and botched my operation
Wipe the board clean cause I'm really impatient

I'm like a missing puzzle piece
Neglected and mistreated
Can never find my peace
Till my picture is completed

Like a missing puzzle piece
Gone without a trace
Picture's seen, at least
But really, what a waste

On the Rocks

On the Rocks

Cosmo's lose their taste when you're serving them yourself
Use my brain to judge the remains of what's on the top shelf
Roll my eyes, sigh, as I pour and pour
Got a loser throwing up all over the floor
This is growing up, what I worked so hard for
This guy and my degree, face it
Both of them are truly wasted

I'm living life on the rocks
Trapped in my bar room box
C'mon, tell
Me your life story

I'm living life on the rocks
Beer on tap that talks
Tip me well
I'm yours till the morning

A famous actor in the corner giving some blonde kisses
I read the gossip rags so I'm aware it's not his missus
Slips me a tip while starin' at my tits
Let the dim-lit adultery
Continue on my shift
Doesn't give a shit to me
Funny, he plays a queer on TV

Want a double, just say the word
You like it shaken, not stirred
That's the drink that Bond preferred
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard

I'm living life on the rocks
Trapped in my barroom box
C'mon, tell
Me your life story

I'm living life on the rocks
Beer on tap that talks
Tip me well
I'm yours till the morning

If you've got the goods I've got the time
Lick the salt onto my wrist and hand you a lime
Any takers among the fakers?
Shaking my martini shakers
I'll have you and you'll have Maker's
Gotta make the night go by quicker
A girl wants love but all I've got is liquor

Want it stronger, just tell me when
I like it how I like my men
Never get attention like this again
I oughtta find a better job, but til then...

I'm living life on the rocks
Trapped in my bar room box
C'mon, tell
Me your life story

I'm living life on the rocks
Stuck with drunk nighthawks
What the hell
At least it's never boring

Tongue Ring In Chic

Tongue Ring In Chic (I'm Not Bad, I'm Just Drawn That Way)


Didn't enjoy much living straight edge
It got boring fast, and I crave a challenge
Dyed black hair over half your face
Mysteries are riskier and make my heart race

If you want to get my number
Drop and be a goth nightclubber
What can I say, I've got a turn on for danger
I like my men a little stranger

I want a guy with a sleeve
Separate from his black band tee
Spiky hair, studded belt
Emotional boys make me melt

Oh, your checkered Vans, tongue ring
Water bottle, skull bling
There's surely nothing finer
Than a boy who's man enough for eyeliner

This is who I want today
I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way

Minor sins and safety pins are something more dramatic
Your're a breath of fresh air for a recovering asthmatic
It's a new me who picked you and you better thank her
Rather date a drug dealer than an investment banker

Got on my costume, feel like a poser
But the charade's worth it to get us closer
Is it just what we wear? I guess I'll never know
Either way, like I care, we're best without our clothes

I want a guy with a sleeve
Separate from his black band tee
Spiky hair, studded belt
Emotional boys make me melt

Oh, my checkered Vans, tongue ring
Water bottle, skull bling
No better way to get attention
Than to have a definition

This is who I am today
I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way

Cries for attention across the street
You scare away others, but I find it sweet
I'm a groupie for your faux rockstar
A master at your air guitar

Air guitar solo!

Oh, your Checkered vans, tongue ring
Water bottle, skull bling
There's surely nothing finer
Than a boy who's man enough for eyeliner

Dont' tell me it's just a phase
I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way

A Fist Wrapped in Blood

A Fist Wrapped In Blood

I’ll be the rockstar and you’ll be my band
Matching Halloween costumes I’ve already planned
Locking hands and eyes in line at Disneyland
I’ll be your lady and you’ll be my man

Too perfect to be real right from the start
Our potential so thrilling it could have been art
I kept it going cause I’m not that smart
Just empty words from an empty heart

Lovers that thrive on apologies
It’s not working obviously
Just cause to worry
With every I’m sorry
You and me were not meant to be

Lovers that thrive on apologies
Loving apathetically
Thought you were better
Than a wolf in a sweater
You and me were not meant to be

You demanded and I supplied
Keeping your distance while still at my side
Your shadowed past your alibi
My heart in your hands you pumped it dry

Your gentleman caller act successfully pulled me
Your polite performance acted out cruelly
Pushed me around like a valentine's bully
But I’m not ashamed I know how to love fully

Lovers that thrive on apologies
It’s not working obviously
Just cause to worry
With every I’m sorry
You and me were not meant to be

Lovers that thrive on apologies
Loving apathetically
Thought you were better
Than a wolf in a sweater
You and me were not meant to be

XXX

X X X

It's been over a year of not feeling right
I'd love to know what indifference feels like
It's so clearly always you
In every single fucking song I write

Are you that insecure
is that what you're dating her for?

I can't say goodbye
My white flag waving in the sky
What can I do to get unstuck
Fuck you for having all the luck

Are you that frightened by the fall
Your jokes echoe off the walls
Checking my cell for your missed call
While pantomime in bathroom stalls

Thanks for making me reaccess
Every memory I have left of us

I can't say goodbye
My white flag waving in the sky
What can I do to get unstuck
Fuck you for having all the luck

Was I just company, too, while you were my knight
Were your words in bed a way to fill up the night?
What I heard instead
Hung like a stalagamite

Every memory ruined for good
You let go but I never could

I can't say goodbye
My white flag waving in the sky
What can I do to get unstuck
Fuck you for having all the luck

I can't say goodbye
My white flag waving in the sky
What can I do to get unstuck
Fuck you for having all the luck

Antigone

Antigone

This morning while mourning I rolled out on the wrong side of the grave
Caught in my coffin I've outgrown but it's cozy and it's safe
Panic attacks while still snoring
Slipping out of your arms as the bacon sizzles
Flipping out once again through sunshine or drizzles
Loving you has grown to be boring

I pray for the day
You're not longer good for a rhyme
I hate to say, it's not my time
And today is not that day

I'm nowhere finished with my writing
Begrudgingly finished with my writhing
I hated how you always got me blushing like a rose
We cruised through our romance
I'm bruised by our last dance
Your dilapidated Vans were crushing my toes

I like the look of your lies when your eyes dilate
I should look for another, sober suitor to date
One that can imitate your walk just right
Still got the body of a female
And a disembodied email
Can't take me out tonight

I pray for the day
When you're no longer good for a rhyme
I hate to say, it's not my time
And today is not that day

There's got to be
Someone kinder than you
Who reminds me of you
Some humility
I couldn't find in you
I was blinded by you
Now I can see
But I'd much rather be
Antigone

I let down the countdown
No kisses at midnight, I'm missing the song
The parade did fade but you're still going strong
Your welcome's outstayed

I pray for the day
When you're no longer good for a rhyme
I hate to say, it's not my time
And today is not that day

I pray for the day
When you're no longer good for a rhyme
I hate to say, it's not my time
And today is not that day

BFF 4EVA

BFF 4EVA

I wish we could meet up just one more time
So I could take back everything I ever gave to you
That bracelet from Australia
The one that matches mine

One mind in two heads, blonde and red
And there was nothing I couldn’t say to you
Now I could fill our unfinished scrapbook
With all the things I never said

I wish I could erase you
So I won’t have to deface you
Each little insult closer to peace
It’s my passive revenge
Hope that you drop dead
Like our friendship already deceased

It’s all bad timing
A misunderstanding
Let’s blame fate
For this unwelcome hate
I couldn’t have done anything wrong
Our forever didn’t last very long

We had a few months but then we died
It hurts more cause you’re still alive
I know because I saw you behind the tree that day
I saw you and I couldn’t look away
Just thought of all the things I should say
Did he replace me? Why can't you face me?
I walked away

I know every January you remember my birthday
And make a conscious decision not to pick up the phone
We were so much for each other
But why should I bother
We’re already blown
How could I have known

I wish I could erase you
So I won’t have to deface you
Each little insult closer to peace
It’s my passive revenge
Hope that you drop dead
Like our friendship already deceased

It’s all bad timing
A misunderstanding
Let’s blame fate
For this unwelcome hate
I couldn’t have done anything wrong
Our forever didn’t last very long

Now that it’s over it seems to me
You didn’t realize how much you mean to me

Jason at the Bookstore

Jason at the Bookstore

i met you once
you'll do nicely
so far, so good
i shouldn't meet you ever again
and ruin that perfect image of you
in my mind

of course, it's not you
your hair has changed slightly
the color of your sweater
your absence has resulted in
hyperbole
replacements of details

can i marry an image in my head?
married to the thought of eternal bliss
a ring on my finger as proof
(because i need proof)
phone calls to make people jealous, bitter
try those emotions on for a change

"you" will do nicely

red bracelets

red bracelets

i'm a happy poser
never have to deal with
being a loser
i just play one on TV
and at parties
just like a clown
or a magician
it's not the real me
it's just an act of attention
i can't really levitate
or get shot out of a canon
or cut my skin up

i just reap the wealth
of worry
and power
red bracelets
(not kabbalah)
right now in fashion
supporting the cause
of myself

As I Waited To Get A New Prescription

As I Waited To Get A New Prescription

as I waited to get a new prescription
trying to change myself in some other way
I struggled pushing the piece of plastic
in a very sensitive area
struggling as usual
in sensitive areas
I overheard them whispering
although they could have been a little quieter

"See that fat girl over there?
She's having the hardest time
putting those contacts on."

Just because they're optometrists
they think I'm also in need of
a hearing aid.

This was out of the schoolyard
and birthday parties
where people who didn't know any better
threw rocks
and words
at me
This was much more

a mother
(of one of those children I'd assume)
that went to Ivy League
and received her MD
who just lost her father the previous year
who earned $70k plus benefits each year
who could struggle and think and know the right way
just called me fat
handed over the bill
and to my face said have a nice day.

You'd think she would have known better
You'd think I should have known better
than to ask for help
and believe
that ignorance ends
once you get your MD.

Three More Weeks

Three More Weeks

You came out of the blue
I like you cause you’re new
Light and bright in black
My heart under attack

The perfection of the Meet-Cute
A lifelong obsession
Surprisingly resembled
Our Monday night confession
Stopped my habits in their tracks
You can’t be good for my depression

Will three weeks really change fate
One more day
One more kiss
Love can’t endure everything
Not even one as great as this

You redefine my fantasies
Hanging velvet tapestries
On my mind’s blind eye
Over what’s to come
At the start there was a finish line
But I’m not yet done
Delaying the inevitable
Is it that bad a crime?
I love you
It sounded good at the time.

I can only change the date
One more week
One more kiss
But I can’t change everything.
You’re going to be missed.

goldfish out of water

goldfish out of water

hot LA lady
in the downpour tonight
watch out
the acid rain'll wash out
the peroxide
orange streaks down her shoulder blades soaked
who thinks of packing a raincoat?

cold LA lady
can't find a place to duck under
run for cover
no one here cares
about the price of her dress
no one here knows
how she got into this mess

this is the most
of the east coast
that she'll write home about

Second Story

here's my first poem on the site. I wrote it in 2003 and I could try to morph it into a song, but i like it the way it is. rambling prose.

Second Story

I can barely differentiate
the faraway rhythmic percussion and wooing
coming from the club outside the plain drawn curtains
two flights up
from the muted reminder of my alienation
taunting from inside.
I try my best to appear aloof
but the game is always on -
I keep you in my peripheral
just in case... what?
you do something to warrant a more direct gaze?
you might possibly meet my stare?
I would have kept you in my line of sight
because of attraction,
curiosity
if you hadn't superseded my lust with hope
with that smile that is worth it when it shows itself
and your brief five fingers pressed on the edge of my shoulder
your asking someone to take a picture of us
you asking, not me making the first move
you inviting me to stay in your room after hours
not requesting I leave, almost imploring I stay
what a wonderful first day to end it by sleeping beside you.
Your wonderfullness gave me the incentive to want more
from the type of person I never expect anything at all

maybe you were my pillow that night
and i got carried away past my possibilities
because since then you became the guy I assumed you were
too attractive for me,
aloof
and cool.
All i always wanted to be,
never quite pulled off.
you were willing to stroke my back that night
but you never inched closer to me on the dancefloor
that spot on my shoulder turned cold
dissapeared from negligence.

i realize in two weeks you won't matter
but living in the moment has its disadvantages.
You consume me - where I look, what I hear
struggling desperately to hear your wild screaming
voice from downstairs, pick you apart from the
crowd from the second story
you danced past me
and my cynicism overrules the idea that you are
avoiding me because of my obvious infatuation
my head no more than 45 degrees turned from you at every moment
no, it's much worse
you don't even notice my dissapointment as your saunter past me
to cling to another girl who fits
nicely in her clothing
you don't even think to think about where I am
that I'm back here, curtains drawn, on the
second story
moved enough by your presence these past few days
to contemplate my own in general.

The Receptionist

The Receptionist

That girl, the receptionist
Front desk at Endeavor
Her hair, it's perfection
Her stilletos, her blazer
We've got the same job
But different faces
I'm thrown together, a slob
She's going places

That girl, the assistant
Twelve hours at Sony
Her friends growing distant
Her laugh growing phony
She picks up the phones
Files the faxes
She's never alone
Never relaxes

That woman, the executive
Someone I'll never be
Mt. Olympus is selective
At full capacity
I don't know how she does it
A mom, a boss, a wife
How many assistants does it
Take to screw up your life?

That girl in the mirror
That's who I am
A bit off, peculiar
I don't give a damn
Objective projections
I've pushed them away
After endless rejections
I'm doing okay

That star, constellation
Of possibility
It's a hallucination
Infinitely
Is there some purpose I haven't found
Wasting pennies on pipe dreams?
I'm still around without the sound
Of you humming my rhyme schemes

That girl, the receptionist
Dreaming of power
Career-driven perfectionist
Alone on her lunch hour
How much do you give away
Between nine and five
If you just live today
Then you're really alive

All The Planes and Postcards In All The World

all the planes and postcards in all the world

A perfect place exists where you'll never grow old
It's summer in the winter and I never got cold
In my head we're a play
Performed exactly how I say
It's the only thing left I can control

There's a little piece of you lost, and
I'm keeping it hostage
I won't give up my fantasies
Til you return the rest of me

All the planes and postcards in all the world, I doubt it
Could help us even if we would
Not a goddamn thing either of us can do about it
You and me, kiddo, we're in this for good

Trapped in the sand of smashed hourglasses
I squint as I take off my rose-tinted glasses
I left my land of enchantment
Traded it in for detachment
My default emotion seems to be broken

There's a little piece of you lost, and
I'm keeping it hostage
All that's left are memories
Give me back the best of me

All the planes and postcards in all the world, I doubt it
Could help us even if we would
Not a goddamn thing either of us can do about it
You and me, kiddo, we're in this for good

Peter Pan Complex

Peter Pan Complex

From the day you are born
You were slapped cross the face
And in five minutes time
You’ve got a living to make
You’ve got wives
You’ve got kids
You’ve got bills
You’ve got stress
And you’re wondering how you got into this mess

It was sex!
It was drugs
It was wine
It was booze
And all of those things
That grown ups do

So tell me a bedtime story
And please make sure to turn on the night light
Just let me keep on dreamin in bed
And I’ll be alright

I like to blow bubbles in my coffee
And on my way to work I let down my hair
Yes I know that I am nearly twenty
But lecture someone else
Cause I couldn’t care
Who cares?

I watch cartoons while I flip to the news
And pay all of my bills with houses and hotels
It was fun
Then it’s done
And it’s drowned down the sink
And I may be condemned for the way that I think

I want pink!
I want love!
I want beautiful skin
And anything else I could want on a whim
Call me sin
Call me names
Cause I’d rather play games
Then sell lots of stock and go insane

So give me my paycheck on payday
I’ll spend it on candy and clothes at the mall
Sure, I can drive, I can drink, I can vote
But I want to do it all

I like to blow bubbles in my coffee
And on my way to work I let down my hair
Yes I know that I am nearly thirty
But lecture someone else
Cause I couldn’t care
Who cares?

So, go ahead, wear your overpriced, prodigious
Armani business motifs
I’ll wear overalls
Be adorned with pigtails
And never have to think
About what will happen tomorrow
But what’ll happen right now

I like to blow bubbles in my coffee
And on my way to work I let down my hair
Yes I know that I am nearly fifty
But lecture someone else
Cause I couldn’t care!

Oh, I like to blow bubbles in my coffee
And I skip my way to work
And let down my hair
You might think
That life is full of worries
But I’ll still have a blast
As long as I’m there
Oh, who cares
As long as I’m there
Who cares?

Done

And we've now reached ACT II!!! There's a bunch more songs I still have to write for Act I, but I'm impatient to post everything I've finished so far. So Act II of my college musical, woot woot!

It's FIVE YEARS AFTER GRADUATION - about eight years since we left off at the end of Act I. Kathleen returns to her old high school and becomes a teacher. It’s been years since she’s heard from Damien. She reflects on where she is now in her life and maybe it was all for the best.

Done

KATHLEEN:
When I’m feeling more than blue
I recall this little speech:
Those who can, do
Those who can’t, teach

In my day I was a knockout
Back then I knew the game
I had it figured out
But now - it’s not the same

I’m at the head of the class
A view I’ve never seen
In school I’d barely pass
I was a preoccupied teen

More interested in looks
Than A Tale Of Two Cities
Never flipped through my books
Never joined the school committees

My priorities moronic
Now I think it’s quite ironic
I’m a hypocritical preacher
But kids listen cause I’m the teacher

I can’t say that it’s not scary
As I pause for a momentary
Breath sometimes; I’m very
Certain that I’m not quite sure
What I come in each day for
I use the school library
As my private sanctuary
Students are extremely wary
To enter its front door
No one likes to learn more
Than what’s truly necessary
My life is truly ordinary
In a job that’s stationery
I find it hard to score
Their tests while they snore
But our future was imaginary
As strongly as we both did care he
Acted quite the contrary
There won’t be an encore
It can’t be like before

Our time wasn’t perfect
We may not have endured
I’ve been given time to reflect
We could not be cured
We would have lasted longer
But in the end I am stronger

I don’t choose you
I choose me
The me that someday, one day
I will be
I know now it was for the best
To give up all the rest
Of what we would have eventually become

I’m done
I’m through wallowing inside
I’m done
I’m through swallowing my pride
I’m one
It’s true, there’s so much I’ve denied
Thinking I was only half of two
Thinking me alone won’t do

I’m done
Wishing on each star
I’m done
Wondering where you are
Someone
Left the door ajar
I finally have the strength to close it
He’s in the dark, but it’s me who knows it

From September till May
I try my best
Point my kids the right way
To pass life’s test
I remember the day
We were laid to rest
No matter what I’d say
Your heart went west

But now,
I’m done missing you
And all your extremes
I’m done kissing you
In all of my dreams
Preparing bliss with you
Us as husband and wife
Sharing this with you
A simple, planned out life

It’s finally clear
There’s no excuse
They need me here
I have a use
My heart can reappear
From its recluse
I veered to interfere
With my own abuse

I now know I’m not mistaken
To forsake the road not taken
It’s not too late
To redirect my fate
You’re not the only one who directs
I look forward to what’s next

Choices

Damien gets hired to be a production assistant on a film shooting in Los Angeles and he chooses to leave school - and Kathleen. Kathleen tries to get him to stay but fails at convincing him.

Choices


DAMIEN:
I choose my art
I don’t choose you
We’ll live apart
And I’ll lose you
Life is give and take
But mostly give
I’m not making a mistake
It’s how I chose -
--Choose -- to live

This is what I want
This is who I have to be
You are who I love
But more so,
I have to love me
I have to listen to my past
Can’t change my mind so fast
We’ll always have what we had
Our memories can last

KATHLEEN:
Say “have”, not “had”
We’re not yet past tense
I’m not just a passing fad
Stop making so much sense
Don’t listen to your art
It’s only there to flaunt
Just listen to your heart
It will tell you what you want
It will tell you what you really need
Only love and companionship
Not fame to succeed

Finish what you started
We can’t end this way
I won’t accept us parted
Tell me that you’ll stay
What about your degree?
Wasn’t that one mission?
What about me?
Aren’t I part of the decision?

DAMIEN:
I am this
And you are you
We have connected
But we remain two
We each have to follow our destiny
Where we individually belong
Whether or not you can agree
I’m choosing for us
I’m choosing for me
You’ll see
I know I’m not wrong

KATHLEEN:
How can you be so certain?
Don’t you wonder what else is there
What’s behind another curtain?
What’s down another path?
Stop staring straight ahead
There’s life underneath and up above
Our lives are not math
There are no set solutions
Logic has no business being mixed with love

DAMIEN:
I’ve become a man
This is how I’ve grown
I can’t change my plan
It’s all I’ve ever known
I am only human
And I don’t want to change
I only play to win
And I can’t rearrange
My life for another
I got here on my own
I’ll go through it alone
We’ll always remember each other

KATHLEEN:
You’re not yet a man
You are still a boy
You say you’ve set your plan
But will it bring you joy
Like I can?
I have things you can use
Let me be your muse
Why doesn’t happiness inspire art like sadness does
Why can’t it stay how it was
How it is—

DAMIEN: (with KATHLEEN)
Goodbye, Kathy
It seems sad
Don’t stay mad
Don’t think I don’t give a damn
But I’m packing up
And ready to move
And ready to prove who I am

KATHLEEN: (with DAMIEN)
Damien, no -
I won’t let you go
We can’t end this way
Tell me that you’ll stay
You can’t change me and leave
Changed all I believe
I no longer know who I am

Dust

Dust

Our names are just words
Covered by dust
Just like that old thing
That relationship
Been neglected for seven months

Sitting all alone
With pictures of us
Wondering what you're doing
What schemes you must be brewing
While our meaningless pictures are gathering dust

Today I wore your ring
And I wore with it your kisses
And all the nice things you ever said to me
There were five months on my finger
I couldn't resist it
And the street at dusk where you gave it to me
I wore you, too
it fit so nicely
and looked so shiny
and the cubic zirconia was diamond
I don't want to take you off again
I wore this anachronism
With my masochism recollecting us
Now it's only lonely back in its box
Collecting dust

Once I had kissed you
But maybe I dreamt it
What if I had
But I never had meant it?

Maybe it was love
Maybe it was lust
But all those words
And all those thoughts
Have been scraped off the wall
And flutter through the air
And fall across my face
Like dust

Sublime

this is the only song from my musical (Abbey sings it in Act 2) that I think can stand by itself without the plot getting in the way. I'm posting the "rockstar" version (aka the version where the rhyme schemes are a little bit more lax... in my musical I make sure every rhyme is PERFECT. cause i'm like that. sondheim would want it that way.)

Sublime

In the beginning, abusing
Was an unknown disgrace
They say it’s sinning I’m choosing
But it takes me out of this place
Neither winning nor losing
I’m not in the race
Gives me a different body
Gives me a different face
One that’s thinning and bruising
And slightly erased
Maybe you wouldn’t
But I would, and I do
Maybe I shouldn’t
It feels good, it’s so true
It’s not as bad as what they told me in school
They forgot to mention it makes you look cool

I’m not hurting anyone
I wanted to have fun
It’s been awhile
But I’m not done
I’ve wasted so much time
What I taste now is sublime

I’m over ending conversations with “no thanks”
Finally enjoying my time here on Earth
I’m through climbing society’s ranks
No longer concerned with how much I’m worth
It’s a blessed gift
Being able to drift

I’m not hurting anyone
I’ve never had such fun
I’m finally in style
No longer number one
I’ve wasted so much time
What I taste now is sublime

Cure all my social ills
With a palm of purple pills to devour
You don’t need special skills
That pay the bills
When it’s the thrills that fills each hour
Don’t need a life of frills
With the power spills that the pills fulfill
I’m exploring my endorphins
It’s the comedown that kills

People pick their vices
Mine’s not such a crisis

I’m disappointing everyone
Well – everyone but one
Only I can smile
While I come undone
I’ve wasted so much time
What I taste now is sublime

So I’m broke, living day by day
A line of coke, a song to play
I’m not a joke
I’m not what they say
I won’t provoke you to live this way
But I made my own deal
For me it’s ideal
If you don’t feel
Your life can’t waste away

So leave me alone
Forget all I’ve known
I don’t need it anymore
And I don’t need repairing
I’m better than before
I truly like not caring
It’s finally my time
To sit back, relax and feel sublime

Black Is The New Black

Black Is the New Black

How surprisingly silencing this loneliness can be
With company built in, attached just for me
Who always stays for dinner
And always stays the night in bed
A trust that’s not delivered
By those you’d rather be with instead

I’m in love with my doppelganger
My opposite, myself
Black to my red
Back in my bed
Both comfortable in night
Same problems, same history
Same music, same misery
Half a person on the same left side
Searching for what’s right

How were you a stranger?
You’re my troubled doppelganger

Spaghetti hugs barely hanging on
Slipping off once they’re on
Wrapped around without squeezing
Without making a dent in my clothing
Never fully pleasing
And you’re already releasing

I’m in love with my doppelganger
My opposite, myself
Black to my red
Back in my bed
Both comfortable in night
Same problems, same history
Same music, same misery
Half a person on the same left side
Searching for what’s right

How were you a stranger?
You’re my troubled doppelganger

Blood, sweat and tears all come from the same place
Blood, sweat and tears are running down your face

I should turn and give up, I know you're wrong
Instead I turn the volume up on your siren song
We can't fix each other
We both were made to break
Our baggage piled, smothered
I want to live with this mistake

I’m in love with my doppelganger
My opposite, myself
Black to my red
Back in my bed
Both comfortable in night
Same problems, same history
Same music, same misery
Half a person on the same left side
Searching for what’s right

Damien, King of Filmmakers

autobiography alert!!! (sorta - I have better taste in movies than Damien)

Damien gets the chance to quit school and move to LA to work on a film. He has to choose between his two loves - Kathleen and film. In this song, he reflects on why he wants to be a filmmaker.

Damien, King of Filmmakers


DAMIEN:
Damien, King of Filmmakers
You’re going to make us so proud
The quiet won’t try it
Besides they’re all fakers
And your voice is too loud
As it has been since birth
Now you’ve been allowed
To wow the huge crowd
At the film center of the Earth

When I was eight
I saw Woody Allen and Diane Keaton
Go on their date
Even that young I could appreciate
The movie’s broad humor
On the sex I was lost
But at any cost
Puberty did strike me much sooner
Damien, the early bloomer

When I was ten
I devoured mafia movies over and over again
All I watched was R-rated
Which my mom greatly hated
She stated
They’ll corrupt her little boy’s purity
I’m convinced they formed my maturity
Just don’t ask the girls that I’ve dated
They got to know me – then quickly vacated

Take this one girl I once took out--
We go to a film about an asteroid
I look over at her and she just looks annoyed
A day after our date she starts to avoid
My call
My lovelife practically destroyed
The only thing that fills the void
Is photographed pictures on celluloid
That’s all

Westerns, satires,
Spies and vampires
Any genre inspires
My need to create
Visual pictures that everyone knows
Holding on for dear life on a President’s nose
I’m ready for the unsteady life that I chose
So who needs a date?

Then there came you
What am I going to do?
Kathleen, Kathleen, the former prom queen…

To acquire what you desire
It’s required to put your entire
Life on the wire
It’s you, Kathy, and film that I love
It’s A or B or none of the above
How can I choose?
With either option I lose

Why can’t I find answers in my cinematic recollections?
Or my DVD collections?
The movies keep bringing me lifetime epiphanies
Dreams I have no choice but to chase
I want a Naked Lunch and Breakfast at Tiffany’s
While an ape throws a bone into space
A casual shower punctuated with a knife
Or a bicycle flying up over the moon
That’s how I want you to remember my life
I want success and I want it soon


The joy I’ve found with you, Kathy
Has been more romantic than Casablanca
For that, I have to thank ya
But a house, our kids
Playing on the floor
Dinner always served at five
I’ll never stop writing
I’ll never stop fighting
For something more
To make me alive

My reel flowing through a projector
Oh, I could finally kiss
This humdrum, standard, simple life away
The day
I'm honored the Year's Best Director!
My ultimate in bliss!


Every day would be Halloween
Staring at my giant name on the screen
One day I’ll be one of those faces
That the mass public fully embraces
A sip of champagne
Today’s Citizen Kane!
And my past life of common routine
It erases.

What I know for sure
I’m no amateur
I’m Damien
King of Filmmakers
And a king does not detour
I cannot be deterred
By potential sad farewells
I have to be heard
I’m the next Orson Welles!

The Zoo

The Zoo

We had the whole weekend planned from the start
That night when I foolishly handed you my heart
You and me on our own
Camping overnight at the zoo
I couldn't have known
That's when we'd be through

It was a fight about a fight
Where no one could be awarded right
Your torrid might unexpectedly exploded
Accusatory finger thrown in my face, in fear
Held at gunpoint, your insults were loaded
Wish I could be replaced anyplace but here

Blamed my drama on being American
You probly can't remember, but I still can
In our pitched tent
Inside you went
As you took me from above
We made something in that tent
It no longer was love
Just a mess
I redressed
Cried alone in the bathroom stall
When I came back
You reacted
Like the whole scene was redacted
Like nothing had happened at all
I suppressed
Hid my tears in a cough
We kept going, but really
That's when I called it all off

A zoo is for families
Children and parents
They can spot out fallacies
And ours was apparent
The animals were joyous
They watched as you destroyed us
Thought I mattered more to you
But what's a girl to do
Shattered at the zoo

I waited for your apology
But when you spoke
You proposed to me
As a joke
I would have said okay
If only you meant it
I'm your three-month holiday
But that's not how I spent it
I guess I was delerious
To believe that we were serious
At least I was for you
But what's a girl to do
Engaged in rage
While trapped in a cage at the zoo

You and me, we were doomed from the start
I regret, can't forget, should have rolled up the heart
Safety-pinned to my sleeve
When I woke up next to you
I wish I didn't leave
Before I spoke up to you
I'm left to bereave
Train myself to believe
We broke up at the zoo
We broke up at the zoo
We broke up at the zoo

Home for Thanksgiving

this song was pretty boring when I first started it. Then it became epic with the addition of one story element (her dad) and it took on a life of its own. I'm very proud of it.

Abbey has yet to break into any social groups in college – she mostly keeps to herself, out of fear for what drugs, boys and alcohol might bring upon her potential. She misses home and wants to transfer to a school closer to her mother. She tries to bring this up during Thanksgiving dinner but no one listens to her. Abbey also discusses her father’s absence at Thanksgiving and in her life.

Home For Thanksgiving

ABBEY:
I’m home for Thanksgiving
And I’m thankful for that
Windchimes in the window
Being pawed by our cat
The bedroom, my toys I’ve kept since birth
Distance forces you to realize a true home’s worth

I sit and I stare
At my baby photos on the wall
So young and naive
I haven’t changed at all
I miss my home’s warmth and familiarity
Comfort has become something of a rarity

But trust me--
Thanksgiving isn’t for a beginner!
I sit down with my family for dinner
My aunt says – I thought you’d get thinner
Uncle Todd asks if I’m getting taller
Like a toddler he hands me a dollar
Because, I quote, “You’re an excellent scholar”
My cousins pry if I’ve got a guy
Gramma wonders why I’m so shy
I feel I’m about to cry
Or develop a syndrome
I want to hide
They never let me be
The maternal side
Of my extended family
But even so
Inside I know
I’m back home
Truly home

The table is full, the cider poured
I clasp my hands and say grace
As my cousins kick me, already bored
I strain to remember his face
I always notice the empty chair
At the end of the table
Daddy would be sitting there
If he were able

Daddy drank
Every night mother would find
Daddy’s breath stank
He said he needed to unwind
From a long day at work
Mother was always attracted to danger
But he stopped being kind
He changed into a jerk
He became a complete stranger
Then she changed her mind
Drinking wasn’t a quirk
He used it to exchange her

Gramma passes me a yam
I wonder if Daddy knows who I am

Daddy didn’t get an education
Daddy gambled his life at the racetrack
Daddy lived life like one long vacation
And he never came back
Daddy forgot he had a child and wife
But don’t we all sometimes need a break from life?
That shouldn’t make you a sinner
But that’s why he’s not here at Thanksgiving dinner

I mumble for the sweet potato
Nobody hears me – it’s the status quo
So – where did he go?

Mom’s family didn’t like him, he’s gone and they’re glad
But what if I’m like him? He was my dad
For a little bit
The only one that I got
But mom got hit
And then he split
I barely knew him
But I have to admit
Unfit or not
I’m sad that he quit
He’s missed a lot

I tell my mother
I passed my chemistry test
She passes me a turkey breast
There’s no room for surprise
When you’re always awarded first prize
Perfect to a fault
She passes me the salt

Mother
Thank you for the loan
I couldn’t do it on my own
And thank you for all that you’ve done while I’ve grown

Mother
Don’t you miss our girl’s days out?
Don’t you miss our heart to hearts?
College is this impersonal machine
And I don’t have the parts

It’s not that I don’t love it
Everyone’s quite nice
I just feel I’m above it
I’ve been lonely once or twice

It’s so far away
So, what do you say
I transfer somewhere near?
I could get a PHD just as easily
I’d only lose a year

I think she thinks I’m bluffing
She passes me the stuffing

Abbey, don’t be dumb
You chose to be farther away
Don’t act like a bum
Just like your father did each day
We don’t give up
We stick with what’s essential
You have to work to live up
To your full potential
Only failure’s shed tears
Do what I said
It’s only four years
Not counting pre-med

I look down at my plate
Unable to communicate
I don’t notice the food I’m chewing
I keep wondering what Daddy is doing

Is he warm where he is?
Does he know that I’m his?
Or has he forgotten my face, too?
Does he have a new family
One that he likes more?
One that let him be who he is
I hope that he’s happy, wherever he is
Family shouldn’t be a chore

I don’t know how to grieve
I wonder – why did he leave?
Could it be mother?
Did she bring him joy in bed?
Or was a girl too much a bother?
Did he want a boy instead?
Daddy didn’t give me a sister or brother
Daddy didn’t stick around long enough for another
For most of my life it’s just been me and mother

My one memory of him is his heavy arm
Holding a cold beer
I don’t remember him doing any harm
I wish daddy were still here
Daddy couldn’t’ve been that bad
Bad times would still be worth it
To have a dad

But Mother’s not as forgiving
If he only got to know me
He’d tell me to stay
If he hadn’t gone away…
I wish I knew where…if… he was living.

Oh well. Happy Thanksgiving.

Should

Should

Should have ripped you off quickly like a band aid
It would have hurt but then you'd be gone
Instead you're coming off slowly, unfolding
The scar you made
Thought it was a scratch but it's been much too long

Should have accepted this was coming
How do you prepare for someone you don't know you'd meet?
I'm diseased with resentment, the present
Is numbing
There's no use for it now, should have kept the reciept

If I don't learn from our relationship
I'm bound to repeat it
I hope the next one I have sticks
Around long enough to complete it

You've got me upset to my stomach
with our memories, but what of it
I've got rope burn holding onto the good
Why's it so easy for you when I'm quesy?
Stuck on if I should
Let you forget you
And me
Never thought you would

Should have learned the etiquette
The ex rules, standard break-up laws
There's no compromise, the lies
That there's a right way to end it
I heard it all in your dramatic pause

If I don't learn from our relationship
I'm bound to repeat it
I hope the next one I have sticks
Around long enough to complete it

You've got me upset to my stomach
with our memories, but what of it
I've got rope burn holding onto the good
Why's it so easy for you when I'm quesy?
Stuck on if I should
Let you forget you
And me
Never thought you would

My heart attack's
Your hiccup
You give up
And don't look back

Should have done a lot of things
Even my hindsight's blurred
Refill the prescription, it's fiction
That we were pulling the strings
No matter what happened we could not be cured

You've got me upset to my stomach
with our memories, but what of it
I've got rope burn holding onto the good
Why's it so easy for you when I'm quesy?
Stuck on if I should
Let you forget you
And me
Never thought you would

A Little Romance

Musical quartet alert!!!

Damien and Kathleen start dating – this is the first real, loving relationship Kathleen’s ever been in where the guy respects her. This is Damien’s first relationship, period.

Scott gets tons of girls, but there are never any real feelings involved.

Abbey still hasn’t adjusted to social college life.

Everyone's sick in this song - Damien and Kathleen give each other the flu, but take care of one another. Abbey has pnemonia, but no mother around to take care of her - she doesn't know how to survive on her own. Scott drinks too much and parties too much and it starts to take a toll on his health.

A Little Romance

DAMIEN:
A little romance
It makes a nice change
I took a chance
Even that was quite strange

I’m the luckiest guy on earth
To have a girl like Kathleen
She’s my Rita Hayworth
I’m a stud like James Dean

Always keeping it sarcastic
Pretending I’ve a heart of plastic
But now I simply feel fantastic
With this little romance of mine
Everything’s fine

SCOTT:
A little romance
But a lot more lust
Take off your pants
Don’t think, just thrust

You need love to be set free
That’s a bunch of bull
My heart feels empty
But my schedule’s always full

What could be more appealing
Than a girl before you kneeling
Easier than really feeling
And a way to pass the night
Everything’s… alright

KATHLEEN:
A little romance
And sexual tension
Guess I don’t need implants
To get the boys’ attention

I always had a boyfriend
Some of them would cheat
No matter, I’d pretend
My life was complete

The most liked girl in high school
With a guy extremely un-cool
Vulnerable to ridicule
But let my friends stare
I don’t care

ABBEY:
A little romance
Even flirting would suffice
A girl like Kathleen enchants
All I am is “nice”

Men aren’t drawn
To a girl with just a brain
I make myself yawn
All I do now is complain

Who needs love? I’ve got my grade
Eighteen and never disobeyed
Fate as a perpetual bridesmaid
So many worlds left unexplored
I’m bored

ALL:
A little romance
Not a lot, but enough
Thought I was complete
Never messed with the stuff

DAMIEN:
I feel like a king
Transformed from the jester
Got the world on a string
In just half a semester

KATHLEEN:
Thought I knew the words
To every love song
I got it backwards
I had love all wrong

ABBEY:
What I’d give to swap
A life like Kathleen’s
The only guy’s list I top
Every time is the Dean’s

SCOTT:
I’m a real lucky guy
To have all this
I always try to justify
Not having someone to miss

ALL:
I didn’t volunteer
For these heart transplants
What do I do now that it’s here?
This little romance

I once was devout
To circumstance, I swore
But I can't live without
A little romance anymore